Manning Up
When your fifteen year old step daughter tells you to "man up" you can't help but take notice. Even though being a "real" man has never bothered me too much, like most men, I don't like having my manliness questioned.
It can't help that the picture on the right is of my new favourite mug, which we bought Friday just gone when I took the afternoon off to go to an Arts & Crafts fair with Karen.
"Ooh, that one's nice!" I said to Karen.
About as unmanly as you can get, no?
What can I say - I like pretty things. Surely it doesn't make me less of a man. I've always thought it makes you more of a man, being honest and happy about who you are.
Anyway, part of the reason I guess Quinn thinks I'm a sorry excuse of a man is that I'm not in to football, unlike all the other men in her life.
But, it's not that I'm not "in to" football. It's just that I can take or leave it. I don't follow a team or watch many matches (watched about 10 minutes of the World Cup so far). Although I can happily sit and watch a good game, they are few and far between, so I tend not to watch any. I don't watch Match of the Day or know who transferred to who or who won the FA cup in 19XX.
What I prefer is to actually do sport rather than sit and watch it. Watching most sports is fairly boring. Doing sports is fun. That's why I jumped at the chance a month ago to play 5-a-side and have been going every week since.
Before I agreed to make up their numbers I did check that it was just a friendly kick-about. What really gets my goat is people who take sport too seriously. Sport should be fun. Thankfully the match has just the right amount of seriousness about it to mean it's enjoyable while remaining competitive.
Thankfully too none of them seem to mind that the new boy isn't that good. Perhaps the fact that I run about like a mad man from one end to the other non stop has fooled them in to thinking I'm worthy of a place. At least that's what got me in the school team when I was younger. The Forrest Gump of football.
The aspect of the game I like the most however is the escapism. The first time I played last month, I didn't realise it until afterwards, but I was so immersed in the game that I didn't think about any of the stresses of work or life. With running, which is my other way of escaping the desk, I still think about the same things while I'm out. With football I didn't think about any of it.
All I need to do now is brush up on the lingo. I've always known what "man on", "one two" and "square" meant but now I'm learning others like "hold it", "runner" and "squeeze the ball". Maybe one day I'll be manly enough to actually return these orders to the people I've never met before...
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You make me laugh! :-)
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As long as you're not laughing at how un-manly I am or I'll have to come and show you how much of a man I am ;o)
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@Jake - I'm laughing at both.
What's "squeeze the ball"?
I think you need to publish a "how manly are you?" questionnaire on your website pronto ... I might end up laughing at myself! :-)
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From what I can tell "squeeze the ball" means that you're supposed to charge at the person on the other team who has possession of the ball and nobody "on him" and you are to either a) get the ball off him or b) force him to pass it before he gets chance to make a run for it.
I keep thinking it would be funny if you took the orders literally. So, when somebody shouts "Hold it!" at you, you just pick the ball up and stand there awaiting your next order.
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Jake, great post.
I've checked the literature, and can find no direct link between the size or function of the male reproductive equipment and interest in spectator sports.
Here's what you need to do: Simply choose one really manly activity, and let that be enough. For example, I also don't follow any athletic teams regularly (I do watch the superbowl, the world cup, and sometimes almost any olympic sport -- but not avidly). I won't do roller coasters either. When asked to do so, I simply claim to be afraid of them (the truth is they make me motion sick).
I have however, complete manliness question immunity by dint of being a firefighter. It's not something which can be questioned. Just find that one manly activity and stick with it.
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You had me questioning your manliness rating until that last sentence. Now there's no question.
My one manly activity? I can build a brick wall. Does that count?
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... depends if you're building the wall just to run some lovely pink pansies and wallflowers up it
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I think tech people size up my manliness when I tell them I'm still a Lotus Notes developer.
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Shouldn't software development prove you a man? I'm pretty sure most women would rather put out a fire than write a piece of software ;-)
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@Klaus - I've met quite a lot of female software developers who put out
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Jake, if anyone ever had cause to question your manliness, it would clearly be on a totally uninformed basis.
Funny how the rest of us feel compelled to review our own manliness upon reading this post! We men can be so insecure...
The way I see it - if you take responsibility for your actions, provide for a family or stand up for what's right in the face of bodily injury, you've got all the manliness creditworthiness you need. Playing a sport or having a dangerous or physical profession simply puts hair on the chest of that manliness. Or laying a parquet floor... or picking out some really nice brass at the auction for the knobs in the house... or making an elegant cutting board right in the counter top... ;-)
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Its funny you link manliness to sports. I'm with you in that I can take it or leave it.
But I don't think there is a link between the two though. Like Jerry said, "if you take responsibility for your actions, provide for a family" that is really what makes a man. While I may not be an avid sports enthusiast either, I'm still no wimp! When I started my new job back in January the joke around the plant and the other sites was how unlike an IT guy I looked. On my first conference call the old guy I replaced, he retired, that was most of the conversation how they were getting an upgraded version LOL
My current weight unfortunately is down to between 230lbs and 235lbs but I used to stay around 255lbs and could bench press over 400lbs. I'm still pretty strong but I had to reevaluate my priorities. I feel like I'm more of a man now then when I used to lift every day because I'm spending more time with my family and less me time. Although I still have the mind trip of being too small, its easier to deal with knowing that my relationship with my family is getting bigger.
My 2 cents :)
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If I had a picture of you in my head then that wasn't it.
Being able to lift more than your own weight is surely a test of manliness. Is it normal to be able to do that? Never tried myself.
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Jake
Me and Kate had a laugh about your manliness and your pretty new cup, which is lovely by the way. As for "squeeze the ball" I've never heard it used in my life, on the football field or elsewhere.
Speak to you soon.
Marcus
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